Articles
- Computer Fun
- Evaluating Camps
- Parent / Child Perspective
- Reading Together
- Schedule or No Schedule
- Summer Play
Computer Fun
Reprinted from PLUK News
Volume 19, Number 7-8
Computers provide wonderful opportunities for children to play and learn at the same time. If you do not have a computer at home, investigate to see if your school system, YMCA, libraries or other locations that would have opportunities for children to use computers in the summer. Here are some ways that computers can be helpful to children with special learning needs:
• Children who have difficulty paying attention to school work are often highly motivated by using the computer. It seems to hold the attention of even the most distractible child.
• Children who have difficulty relating to others find quiet work at the computer to be a less stressful way to learn. Figuring out how a program works can be a good way for a parent and child or a group of several children to interact.
• The stimulating visuals, interesting sounds and opportunity to touch the computer keyboard or joystick keep the child alert and interested.
• Many children have poor handwriting skills or struggle to use a pencil or crayon. Learning to type and illustrate their thoughts and feelings on the computer helps them to succeed in an area that has always been a source of frustration for them.
Evaluating Camps
Reprinted from PLUK News
Volume 19, Number 7 – 8
Request brochures from camps that fit your needs. The brochures will give you information about dates, costs, camper's ages, and activities. Remember, though, it's the staff that brings the camp to life. Contact the camp director to ask specific questions. Use your discussion to get a feel for director's personality and philosophy. Here are some topics to discuss:
Camp Philosophy and Goals: Some camps encourage a competitive environment, while others foster cooperation and interdependence. Be sure the camp's atmosphere is compatible with your child's personality.
Staff Background and Training: Ask about the director's education and certification. Find out the ages of the counselors and how they are chosen and trained.
Counselor-to-Camper Ratio: The American Camping Association recommends one counselor for every eight campers, but a lower ratio might be better.
Problem Handling: Get specific information about camp rules and how problems are handled.
Parent Visits: Ask if parent visits are allowed, both at day camps and residential camps.
Special Needs: Find out how special needs are handled. For example, if your child is taking medication, ask who dispenses the medicine and how the schedule is ensured.
References: Always request references and contact past campers.
Beyond these basic questions, discuss with the director any issues
of special concern to your child, such as:
•
The camp's experience with children with special needs.
•
Group size and age mix for activities.
•
Te ratio of structured and unstructured time.
You know which accommodations in your household and at school help your child succeed, so address these with the camp director. By keeping your child's strengths, needs, and interests in mind throughout your camp search, you'll be able to choose a summer camp that address your concerns and is fun for your child.
Parent/Child Perspective
By Linda Loudon and Bobbie Thurston
Reprinted from PLUK News Volume 19, Number 7-8
Parent's Perspective
Growing up, Bobbie faced many challenges. She was born ten weeks early and weighed a mere three pounds four ounces. For the first three months of her life, she stayed in the neo-natal intensive care unit with hundreds of needles protruding from her little body. Hundreds of blood tests had to be run.
At age one and a half she had to have corrective surgery for her walleye. At age two, my husband and I enrolled her in the Montana Handicap Center where she learned to walk with crutches. By age four, she had her first of epileptic seizures, which she did not outgrow until age 12.
By age 5, we were told not to expect her to be able to read, to write, or to participate in the regular classroom. Moreover, until when she had her tendons and hamstrings lengthened at age sixteen, she walked on her tiptoes.
However, despite all these struggles, Bobbie surpassed what doctors told us she would ever be able to do. She recently graduated with a Masters Degree in Social Work. My advice to parents who have a child with a disability is as follows:
Don't always listen to what professionals tell you.
Had my husband and I listened to what professionals were telling
us, Bobbie would not be where she is today.
Prepare your child for life.
When Bobbie was growing up I wanted nothing more than to protect
her and do things for her. That was easier than watching her
struggle; however, I knew she had to learn independence in order
to be successful in school. Teaching her this independence was
one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I remember when teaching
her toileting skills, I sat in the other room and cried as I
heard her struggling to hoist herself onto the toilet seat; but
I knew it had to be done. I also remember how scared I was on
her first day of kindergarten because I did not want other kids
teasing her. I was horrified. So, when she got home from school
that day I asked her what she had learned. She said, “No
kissing on the playground.” Kids are resilient. Letting
her grow and be independent is one of the best things I ever
did.
Allow yourself to grieve.
For the longest time I was in denial about how Bobbie's disability
affected me. To me, she was a joy in my life so I never allowed
myself to acknowledge the pain or hurt I was feeling as I watched
her struggle with her daily activities. I never wanted her to feel
as if I was ashamed of her. If I had to do it all over again, I
would not have suppressed these emotions, but rather allowed myself
to grieve.
Talk to someone who knows shat you are going through.
One of the biggest things that helped me when Bobbie was born
was talking to someone else who had a child with CP. It was
a tremendous
help to me to talk to someone who had similar feelings to me
and was able to offer me support and comfort.
Forgive yourself.
Hundreds of thoughts raced through my head when Bobbie was born.
I played the “what if game” quite often. What if
I would not have smoked? What if I would have done this or that?
But, over time, I realized I could not have prevented her CP
and I did not cause her CP. It just happened.
Know your options.
One of my biggest regrets as a parent is that when Bobbie was going
to school I did not have an awareness of what my rights and options
were as a parent. I knew little about the resources that were
out there to help her.
Most importantly, love and encourage your children in all that they do. I know as parents we want to help them be all that they can be and it is not easy to be a parent of a child with a disability, but I think one of the greatest gifts we can give them is to help our children help themselves.
Child's Perspective
Growing up with Cerebral Palsy was not easy for me. I was often teased. People often said to me, “Hey, four legs!” or frequently asked me why I walked “like a pigeon.” Sometimes I would go home and cry about the meanness I had experienced. There were also days and times throughout my life that I resented not being like other kids or resented not being able to participate in sports or other activities like other kids. I wanted to fit the right mold and fit in with the popular kids in school.
However, as I have grown up over the years and into adulthood, I learned valuable lessons that have assisted me through these difficult times.
Teach your child to embrace her own uniqueness.
I had a difficult time accepting that I was different, but over
the years I have learned that everyone is different. We all create
our own molds, our own strengths, and our own weaknesses. There
is no one perfect mold that fits everyone. We may be different
on the outside but we are all the same on the inside. Instead
of allowing your child to run away from her uniqueness, teach
her to embrace it. Let your child know that it is okay to be
different.
Teach empowerment, not pity.
I think one of the greatest gifts I have been given is my determination.
There were many times I wanted to curl up in a ball, cry out
of frustration, and just give up. However, neither I nor my parents
allowed me to do so. Instead, I decided that I wanted to prove
to myself and to others that I was strong and that I could tackle
any challenge. Had I allowed myself to engage in the “poor
me syndrome,” I would not be where I am today.
I know it is natural to want to pity someone with a disability when we see them struggle, but I think parents and others around them need to learn to encourage the individual, no matter how hard it may be. Your child or loved one probably has more inner strength than you can possibly imagine.
Teach your child confidence.
One of the hardest things I have had to do is to become confident.
I found that if I hesitated in my abilities to complete tasks,
so did other people around me, making us all uncomfortable. On
the other hand, when I projected confidence to others, they were
impressed by my ability to complete the tasks at hand.
Let your child dream.
Don't ever tell a child that she cannot do something. Shattering
the dreams of a child is one of life's greatest tragedies.
The truth is no one knows what we are capable of until we at least
try. Most often, your child will surprise you with all she can
accomplish. Support and encourage your child's dream.
Allow your child to take risks.
Do not shelter and overprotect your child. Let her experience life;
it will make her a stronger person.
Teach your child the gift of humor.
Humor is a wonderful gift to possess. Teach your child to laugh
even in the most difficult situations. Laughter helps the most
difficult situations seem more bearable.
Give your child hope.
Hope is one of the most powerful assets you can give a child. Never
allow your child to lose hope in any situation. Help her find
hope in every situation and keep the faith in all she does. You
will be surprised at what the smallest glimmer of hope can do
for a child.
Never tell your child you know how he or she feels.
The truth is we can empathize with the way people feel, but we
never know exactly how each other feels, because we all experience
things in a different way. Ask your child how she is feeling.
Let her own her own feelings, and attempt to validate how she
feels.
Do not patronize your child.
Never talk to your child like she cannot understand what you are
saying. She is probably much smarter than you may realize. You
will earn her respect more easily if you talk to her the same
way you talk to others.
Do not talk for your child.
When someone asks your child a question, let her answer for herself.
This will assist in fostering independence and growth.
In summary, I am not claiming to be the next Dr. Phil or to have all the answers. I know it is easy for me to say these things and harder for others to do them. I feel these few things may assist your child in coping with a disability.
I have been teased, ridiculed, and faced many challenges, but through it all I have survived. I am a survivor. All these experiences – good or bad – have shaped me into who I am today. My experiences have given me empathy, strength, and a deep compassion that I may otherwise not have developed.
I do not feel sorry for myself. I see my disability as a gift. It has helped me to appreciate and embrace my life more. When people see me, I hope that, aside from my disability, they see a survivor, they see hope, they see success. Most of all, I hope they see an individual who attempts to make a difference.
In my experience, people with disabilities do not want pity. They want respect. People with disabilities don't want you to recognize their deficits, but rather their strengths. People with disabilities do not want you to define them by their disability, but by the person they are both on the inside and outside.
Today I have friends, I have my MSW, I have a husband, and I have a job. Isn't it amazing what the power of hope, determination, and love can do?
Never underestimate the difference you can make in your child's life and never underestimate the power of your child. At the end of every rainbow lies hope, and that can make all the difference.
Reading Together
Reprinted from PLUK News
Volume 19, Numbers 7-8
For many children, reading is a difficult school task. In the summer, however, reading can be part of the fun rather than a dreaded chore. The trick is to eliminate the pressure for performance and allow the child a great deal of choice in what he or she is reading. Incorporating books of all kinds into activities which the child enjoys will make reading more interesting and more enticing to the child.
• Choose a read aloud story that is appropriate for your child's age. Ask your children's librarian for suggestions. Set aside a time each day for reading a portion of the book together. Keep the reading aloud sessions short. Always quit when the child is ready to be finished.
• Encourage your child to read anything he or she is interested in, including comic books, magazines, picture books. Don't worry too much about whether the reading materials are educational or appropriately challenging. Just encourage the reading itself.
• Set aside a time when everyone in the family reads silently. It is great for your child to see you reading, too.
• Help your child to fill out a subscription for a children's magazine that will come to him or her during the summer months.
• If your child has a special teacher, favorite relative, or adult friend, see if that person would be willing to be a summer pen pal. Help your child write letters and draw pictures for that person. Read aloud the letters that come from the adult pen pal.
• Many books are on tape cassettes. Buy a few taped books or borrow some from the library. The ability to follow the story on tape while looking at the book sharpens listening skills – a very important factor in academic success.
• Help your child to make a book. Write down a story as the child dictates it. Encourage him or her to illustrate the story. Make a special cover for the book. Have your child read the book to someone else.
Schedule or No Schedule
Reprinted from PLUK News
Volume 19, Number 7-8
The trick to making summer fun for a child with special needs is
to provide just enough structure so that there is something to
look forward to each day. There should be a balance between active
and quiet activities and plenty of flexibility to change plans.
If your child is spending summer days in a daycare situation,
talk to the providers about the summer schedule. See if there
are things that you could be doing at home that would complement
the daycare routine and be special family activities as well.
Some children become very tired after a hot day with lots of
other children. The evenings are, then, better spent in quiet,
soothing activities without the stimulation of other children.
The real key to a happy summer for a child with special needs
is to plan ahead a bit and think through how the vacation days
will be spent. With some advance planning, summer days can be
truly fun for all of the family.
Summer Play
Reprinted from PLUK News
Volume 19, Number 7-8
There are so many more opportunities to explore and experiment with toys and different substances – water and sand in the backyard, outdoor recreational equipment, and yard toys. Since most children with special needs require constant reinforcement of what they have learned all year long, play is the perfect way to “work” over the summer not only to maintain skills but also to learn new concepts in a subtle, fun way. Here are some hints to consider:
• Talk to your child's teacher before school is out and ask for two or three skills that the teacher feels your child should practice over the summer. If you don't understand what the teacher means, ask for a demonstration of the skills and the ways that the teacher would teach them. Also ask the teacher for suggestions of “fun” ways to practice the skills.
• Inspect your yard or the park areas which may be available to your child. Determine what opportunities there might be for playing with water, sand, soap bubbles, natural materials like pine cones, pebbles, feathers. Plan specific times for play with these special materials. The fun thing about summer is that a child can get dirty and be hosed off quickly.
• Arrange for a local teenager to baby-sit your child with special needs tow or three times per week. Plan for these times to include special activities like walks to the park, trips to the library, finger painting sessions.
• Invite a small group of children your child's age to join you in the backyard to do a specific activity like making a combined mural, mixing up a batch of no-bake cookies, listening to a story and having a snack. Be sure to keep the group small and manageable. Hint strongly to the other parents that your child would appreciate a similar invitation to their homes.
